01.29.19 Introducing our new blog theme “BECAUSE HE LIVES”

We started writing this blog years ago under a different name, Dora and the Explorers.  There will be no more posts about Roy and I traveling with Dora since Dora moved to California.  That move lead to a change in the site’s name and the look.

Please click the “FOLLOW” link on the right if you’d like to receive an email whenever a new blog is posted!

In this new blog we will focus on our life in Louisiana, about living a Christian life, updates as my dementia progresses, along with some Wild and Wacky posts from time to time.

Because this new blog is about our future life, I thought a good bit about how that should be expressed in the blog’s new name.

The new theme is BECAUSE HE LIVES….. I can face tomorrow!

Some of you will know what that means and some will not. If you do Praise God!  If you do not I hope you will read and learn!

As I was thinking about the new name, the thought that stood out in my mind is that I don’t know what my future holds.  Whatever it holds, I know my future is in God’s hands because I am a Christian.

After Christ died on the cross, He was buried and rose from the dead so, HE LIVES.  Because of this, I have the reassurance of Christ walking by me through every storm and joy that comes our way.  Therefore I can face anything that the future brings.

BECAUSE HE LIVES I can face tomorrow is the first two lines of the chorus in the amazing song written by Bill and Gloria Gather in 1993. I will share an audio version of the song and the lyrics below.

Back in the mid-1990s I was in a particularly dark place in my life.  One Sunday during that time in our Worship Service we sang a new song called Because He Lives.  My attention was immediately grabbed by the first verse.

God sent his son, they called him Jesus
He came to love, heal and forgive
He lived and died to buy my pardon
An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives

When we got to the chorus I felt something come over me that couldn’t be ignored.

Because He Lives
I can face tomorrow
Because He Lives
All fear is gone
Because I know He holds the future
And life is worth the living
Just Because He Lives

When we sang the second verse it hit me hard because it talked about the calm assurance that this child can face uncertain days Because He Lives.  During this dark time my main concern was  the well being of my children. I felt like God was talking straight to my heart giving me the assurance I needed.

How sweet to hold a newborn baby
And feel the pride and joy he gives
But greater still the calm assurance
This child can face uncertain day Because He Lives

I had to sit down I was so overcome with that amazing assurance from God.

And then one day I’ll cross the river
I’ll fight life’s final war with pain
And then, as death gives way to victory
I’ll see the lights of glory and I’ll know he reigns

Oh, how I needed to be reminded of this guarantee for true Christians who will get to live with God in Heaven for all of eternity!

This song reminded me that Christ came to earth for the purpose of giving Christians the assurance that we are able to face tomorrow, with all of the uncertainty that it brings. God holds the future right in His hands and makes life worth living for all who trust in Him.

I shared with my mother why that song grabbed my heart so much.  After that time whenever we sang Because He Lives in church we’d look at each other and hold hands while we sang.  It became our favorite song. Since she passed away, whenever we sing it I think of Mama and how Great our God is!

Here is a You Tube video of the song with the lyrics included.  I hope it will speak to you as it did and always will to me.

Songwriters: Gloria Gaither / William J. Gaither

Because He Lives lyrics © Capitol Christian Music Group

There is a much newer version of Because He Lives.  It’s a beautiful song but the original speaks to my heart with such comfort.

I look forward to sharing fun, meaningful and even silly moments with ya’ll.  When I am having a great brain day my favorite thing to do is to write.  When I’m not, well I just don’t write.  It takes me much longer to put together a post now but I push through it since I know it’s good for me.
Ya’ll have a Blessed week!

01.12.21 No more episodes, and doctor visit

Today is Tuesday. I have not had any episodes for three days now. Hallelujah! My brain is a bit mushier than usual but I can do everything I normally do and it feels so wonderful.

I was able to attend our ladies’ Bible study online last night and loved it! Johnnie, you and the other ladies are great!

My dear friend, Donna Lavergne brought me to my doctor’s appointment yesterday.  I previously made notes on my phone so I would remember what to tell him. My blood pressure was fine. They even did a three blood pressure check where they do it laying down, then sitting up, and then standing up and it was the same each time which is a real good thing.

My doctor thinks the episodes I had for three days are from having high blood sugar for a long time and the stress from Roy dying.

He wants me to see a diabetes doctor Dr. Major, and a neurologist, Dr. Zapata. After seeing them and going back to Dr. Valdes I will have an appointment made with a psychiatrist who can help me better with my grief.

I don’t agree that it is not really seizures but I will see the doctors he wants me to see, have more tests and do what they say. I’m not the doctor, he is.

He also said People’s Health may provide transportation to doctor visits so I will check on that tomorrow. Just checked and my plan does not cover transportation.

He’s taken me off 3 medicines that may cause seizures or dehydration. One is my dementia medicine which I really don’t like not taking it. I protested as much as I possibly could.

I also have a brainwave test scheduled for Jan. 21st. I am happy about that.

None of what he wants me to do will hurt me so like I said, I’ll do what they say to do.

Ya’ll have a blessed week, Rosalyn

12.26.20 and 01.10.21 Only one first Christmas after a loved one dies, and days 2 and 3 of my current health problem

I started this back in December and never posted. So I am posting it now and I am going to write about the second day of all the fun I’ve had jerking and laying on the floor.

After I wrote my Christmas post and rereading it my grief was very strong and the loneliness of life without Roy just seems so difficult. I am thankful there is only one first Christmas after a loved one dies. I’m sure future Christmas’ will bring their own level of grief.

I spent some time today cleaning out the truck bed of Roy’s truck that I will be selling.  I want the person who buys it to be the right person because Roy loved that old truck.  Hopefully the day it leaves here will be one of the last things I’ll be selling that was Roy’s.  I can’t handle all this crying much longer.

I know all of this is God’s plan for Roy and for me. I think Roy got the better plan though! He gets to be in Heaven with his Lord and I’m still here with the memories.

First, let me say day four is wonderful. Very small jerks this morning and nothing that caused me to fall and spend time on the floor! Yay and Praise God!

I am just whizzing away typing and it’s mostly all coming out fine.

This is the picture Chip took when the helicopter with me in it arrived at North Oaks.

Friday morning I woke up to jerking again. I didn’t fall but I knew not to wait and it was bad enough for me to call 911. The 911 lady was very nice and even offered to call one of my neighbors. I declined that and the EMTs with Acadian Ambulance were here very fast.

They took my vitals and blood sugar and they were fine. Somehow they also said I was dehydrated. I told them I drank 3 bottles of water from the time I got in bed until then.  They said I need something with electrolytes in it like Powerade or Gatorade.

Chip got home about that time since I called him right after I called 911. They went over everything with us and I decided not to go to the hospital. They had me sign something saying that I didn’t want to go.

Before they left they told me to contact my primary care doctor to have him review my medications to see if any would cause me to be dehydrated. They also recommended that I see a neurologist to see if any of this is because of dementia. I called my doctor as soon as they left.. His nurse changed my appointment that I already had scheduled on next Thursday to next Monday. I can talk to my doctor about reviewing my medicines then.

A friend of mine, Donna, is going to pick me up and take me there. She’s a friend I planned to have over to my house the afternoon that all of this started so I am looking forward to getting some visiting time with her!

After Acadian left I went to bed for a long time. Little Buddy has gotten so confused by all of these people coming in every morning.

I was doing so well later that Chip took me to eat at our local Mexican restaurant LaCarettas! Here’s a couple of pictures of while we were there.  I had no makeup on so don’t laugh!

Next, there is Saturday morning which was the very worst jerking event. I am going to be open about what all happened even if you won’t look at me the same going forward.  Don’t read it if you don’t to.

I went down to the ground jerking as soon as I got up. I needed to go to the bathroom so as soon as I was aware enough to scoot to the bathroom I did. When I got to the bathroom I had the biggest worst jerking spell that felt like it went on for several minutes.

I put my head on the bathroom mat and just jerked until it stopped. This time it was very different and much worse than before. I closed my eyes and could see black things flash and numbers like on a chalkboard and I could feel my arms and body jerking around.

Now that I am writing this it seems surreal that this happened to me even after the first two mornings. I think by the third time I knew not to fight it, just lay down and get through it. I never thought I was dying, just going through something awful. After all the jerking I thought if I tried to pull myself up sit on the toilet I might jerk and bust my jaw or head. So I decided to take off my thick rob, push it under me, and just peed.

Once all that fun was over I scooted back to the carpet my bed is on and pulled the pillow off the bed and laid there a while trying to get better by resting. I don’t remember how long I was there but I remember waking up and needing to pee again. This time I did something similar to the first time.

After that, I don’t remember what happened but I am pretty sure I got in bed and rested for a while.  And all of a sudden it was all over and I was perfectly fine. So fine that I picked up my “wet” things and put them in the washer. I then mopped all the floors in my bedroom and bath, twice! At some point, I talked to Chip who called Chad.

Chad’s family came over and oh how happy that made Grannie.  They brought pizza and the kids created things for me and gave me lots of Grannie lovin’. They stayed a good while and had to leave so Chad could review the sermon he was going to preach at a small church on Sunday.

These are the things my grandchildren painted and made for me. It’s hard to see what the wooden stick is in the picture. It is our pond with the water at the bottom, the red clay dirt above, dying grass and green trees above that, and then the sky at the top! Every time one of them would bring their creation to me I just loved it. The brown rock is a football!

FIRST DAY UPDATE: I just found out that Chip videotaped me in the hospital telling him the whole story from beginning to end of the Day one event. I’ll see if I can share that. He thought it was very sweet. He said he could tell a big difference between when he first got there and when they were going to let me home. Chip has been amazing throughout all of this but he’s missed two days from work in a week when one of their salesmen was on vacation. I thank Bill Hood for letting him go to be with me.

Day 4 and 5 were perfect!!  It’s now Monday, I’m pretty tired so I am ending this here. Will share with you tomorrow about my doctor’s appointment today.

Ya’ll get a good night’s sleep! Rosalyn

01.08.21 My hand is jerking and I am falling down Correct version

From time to time over the last few years I’ve experienced jerking of my hand to where it will knock my kindle from my hand or mostly just other times doing random things. Yesterday it kicked it up a notch.

I need to say right here that I am trying hard to make this accurate, mostly for me or my doctor to read at a later time. Because of this it is taking me so much longer to write this. So that I get to publish this quicker before I forget what happened next I am not going to correct things I normally would try to do. This next sentence means nothing to you but I know what it is.The hammer bang or zip sound in my head when I am going to sleep

When I tried to come back to my bed from the bathroom it kept jerking but  this time it jerked my body. The jerking caused me to fall to the ground several times while I was trying to get back to the bed and climbing into the bed. After those several times I gave up and laid on the floor for about an hour since it wasn’t stopping and my cell phone was out of reach.

When I decided to try getting up again I MADE IT!  I was going to rest for a few minutes thinking again that this would go away. I fell asleep instead for a few hours and woke up again at around 3 pm and tried again to get up and stand without jerking and falling. It didn’t work. Finally I called 911.

They were great and stayed on the phone until help came, first in the form of the local first responder team and then by the Acadian Ambulance EMTs. I found out later that they thought I was sluring my words indicating a stroke, when actually my mouth was just really dry. Because of this error on their part I was given a helicopter ride to North Oaks since driving in the ambulance would have taken an hour. And I got to go straight to the head of the line when entering the Emergency Room.

Just got this picture from Chip of the helicopter that brought me to North Oaks Medical Center landing there.

It was crazy great how much fun it was to ride in the helicopter!  Getting out of the helicopter and into the hospital was like watching an episode of Gray’s Anatomy! I can say all this now but at that time I understood the seriousness of what was going on.

At some point during the time that the last two paragraphs occured that what I learned that am calling “jerking of my hand and body” the medical people all called it twitching. I didn’t realize there were possibly two different words for what I call “jerking” and they call “twitching. Thjere is ore to this part.

I was given a room immediately, was hooked up to the bag of fluids they give at the hospital, and tests began immediately.  The xray folks came in to take chest xrays, blood was drawn, a urine sample was taken.

Chip had been driving all around the countryside heading to our home in Amite from his work in Hammond.  Then back into town to meet the helicopter at North Oaks in Hammond.

FIX THIS PARAGRAPH WHEN  MY BRAIN IS DOING BETTER. Later I remembered that when getting off of the toilet I fell on the ground, twisted my ankle and hit my right knee hard on the concrete floor, then crawled to the bed. I remembered my left knee hurtingThat was when I tried to get back up on the bed and failed.  I say that later I remembered  knee episode just mentioned it was after the original xrays were taken because that’s when it started hurting bad.  And much later, when I got home, I remembered I twisted my ankle becaue that’s when it began hurting.

So another xray had to be taken of my knee which I felt bad about having the xray folks come back to the Emergency Room.

I felt bad about taking up hospital resources when I learned about how backed up the Emergency Room was and how the hospital was bursting at it seams with patients (the ER and hospital staff never said anything about that) and I was let go to go home after being air lifted there.

I had a couple more tests and the ER Doctor Hill came in to tell me that all the tests looked fine except for showing I am dehydrated and that I have a small kidney problem. I told the Dr. that I was taking Metform for my blood sugar and when my blood tests showed a kidney problem he took me off of it. This test finding is probably what’s left over from when I was on Metformin.  They said on the check out form I was expressing weakness????????

I am writing this Friday night late after spending Thursday morning on the floor, Thursday night at the Emergency Room, and on Friday morning …  I think those days of the week are wrong figure it out.

I’m so tired folks that I’m ending this at part one because I don’t have enough brain power to keep going with this second day, yes there was a second day of all this.  This ended on Friday night and today is Saturday.  Just an update here to the current end of this journey since I want you to know good things, not just this awful stuff. . I spent this morning again for the third day on the floor but this morning was much worse. I realize now it may be seizures but the doctor will know. Around late morning all the jerking stops and I am fine for the rest of today.  I don’t look forward to tomorrow morning but Chip will be home. If you pray for me, I want to go to Sunday School online at 9:30 tomorrow morning so please pray I can do that. I have a primary care doctors appointment on Monday.

Be sure to watch and cheer for the Saints at their playoff game on Sunday at 3 or maybe it’s 3:30!

I hope ya’ll have a Blessed weekend, Rosalyn

 

 

 

01.09.21 One Flesh Relationship Grief

I have been trying to write about the health problems I am having right now but haven’t made it very far. Please just pray for me until I can share more. At this moment I am okay enough to share this.
Putting that aside for the moment and since I am in a stable place for a while healthwise I want to share the following words from a daily email that my dear friend Angelique set up for me after Roy died. Some days the message hasn’t spoken to me like this one did but I encourage anyone who has lost a spouse to get these emails which is why I left the header on the email so you would know where to get these. This email from today is exactly what I would want to tell others about the grief of losing a spouse. Roy’s 70th birthday would have been tomorrow, January 10th, Rosalyn

GriefShare Daily Emails dailyemails@griefshare.org Unsubscribe

Fri, Jan 8, 11:45 PM (12 hours ago)
to Rosalyn

 


A Season of Grief
365 daily emails to help you through the grieving process

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One-Flesh Relationship
Day 117

 

A part of who you are is gone. Your identity is shaken to the very core. You wonder if you will ever feel normal again or if you will ever enjoy life again.

 

“When you lose a mate, you lose part of yourself,” says Dr. Jim Conway. “It’s as if you’ve had an amputation of an arm or a leg. I think that you don’t really recover; you adjust, and the process of adjusting varies with every individual. There’s no formula.”

 

The pain that comes from the loss of a spouse is much deeper than most people realize because in a marital relationship two people become one flesh.

 

“The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called “woman,” for she was taken out of man.’ For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh” (Genesis 2:23-24).

 

When part of your flesh is abruptly taken away, there is a ripping and a tearing that leaves a huge, open wound.

 

“Until you have experienced the death of a spouse, there is no way you can tell someone how deep the hurt is. The Lord says that we are one flesh, and suddenly half of that flesh is torn from us,” says Beth.

01.04.21 Christmas decorations, Chris Taylor, House decorations, Car repairs, Buddy chasing cars

All of the Christmas decorations and the trees are now put away. I’ve accumulated more decorations this Christmas season than would fit in my big red Christmas container so another one was purchased and it is full! I plan to create more ornaments during the year for next year’s tree.

Chip took the big outdoor tree apart and put each of the three parts in the attic with lots of ornaments still on them.  I would never have thought to do that but it worked great!

With this beginning of the new year I am hopeful that I can move forward with my life. I’m sure grief from the loss of my best friend Roy will continue to hang on but I am slowly changing and God is walking through this with me.

I am having a hard time knowing what day of the week it is lately. I keep thinking every day is Monday. Christmas and New Years haven’t messed me up before this year.  I watch the news and the weather forecast where they show the days of the coming week but I forget it as soon as I see it,  I know when it is Sunday because I go to church (online) but still I’m confused. I have a special clock that tells me what day of the week, etc. that it is but I still think it’s Monday even though the clock clearly says SUNDAY AFTERNOON 1:06 pm  January 3, 2021.

I attended the funeral Saturday of a wonderful young man whom I’ve known all his life. Chris Taylor died at age 26.  He was an active duty soldier in the U. S. Army stationed at Fort Hood in Texas.  He was at home in Hammond on his Christmas leave when he died. The funeral was a beautiful celebration of Chris’ life and the fact that we know he is in Heaven with his Lord. We sang hymns, his dad spoke, his youth minister Derek spoke and our pastor Avery Dixon spoke at the graveside service.

His young wife Taylor and his dad David along with his aunts, cousins, step mom and others will miss Chris in their lives. He was honored with a military funeral including the 21 gun salute.

Chris was in my 3rd and 4th grade Sunday School class many years back in 2005. This is the young boy Chris, that I remember learning the Books of the Bible and participating in what we call Bible Drill.  Katie Arbour, Jennah Russell and Chris Taylor are with me in the photo

Trinity’s Bible Drill Team – April 3, 2005

I felt honored to be able to attend Chris’ funeral today. I will always remember him fondly.

While I was in Hammond Saturday I went to Hobby Lobby and enjoyed spending time there shopping for some home and outside decorations. Roy called Hobby Lobby Trinkets and Trash but he knew how much I love that store! They have Christian music playing and I just love that while I’m shopping!

One of the things I was going to purchase was a large size mason jar filled with seashells, some of them the color blue I have in the living room. When I went to check out it was not on sale so I put it back. I just finished creating my version of that and when it’s completely done I’ll share with ya’ll.

One of the walls in my bedroom has been empty since we moved in almost 3 years ago.  I wanted the first thing I’d see when I woke up to be our family portrait we took two years ago. It all finally came together and my roomate (!) son Chip hung up the canvas print. He also applied on the wall next to that the beginning and end of Psalm 23rd which was Roy’s favorite scripture.  Roy’s flag is now in a case and is on the dresser on that wall.

After church this morning Chip has been outside working on issues my new to me car Nelly has. And she has them no more!  Thanks Chip for doing your best to help me and to make your dad Roy proud!

Roy’s truck should go up for sale sometime later this week.

If anyone has a recommendation for how to stop a dog from chasing cars down the street, please share! Buddy is doing it more and more and I don’t want him to get hurt or have the car’s driver affected, so I need to figure out how to stop him.

I am looking forward to a quiet week with only a dental cleaning appointment on Thursday.  Now that New Years is behind us I am hopeful someone will call me back from the three neuropsychologists that I’ve called about having my brain testing updated.

I hope each of you have a very blessed week, Rosalyn

 

 

 

01.01.21 I cannot find my bowl of oatmeal

I cannot find my bowl of oatmeal which was my breakfast on Thursday. I ate half of it and lost the rest. I checked everywhere two or three times including many places it should not be hiding like the pantry or laundry room. If it got packed in a box of Christmas ornaments well that won’t be pretty.

ALAS, the mystery was solved after I went to bed last night. Keep reading to find out how that happened and you will also see what living in my little dementia world is like.

I had to lead with that though my intention was to share with ya’ll what a wonderful day Wednesday was but the lost oatmeal is a big sign of how today is going!

Thursday was better than a great day. I got a lot accomplished, the windy breeze was wonderful (other than knocking the outside Christmas tree over). The wind blowing cool air through the house was more than great.

I worked on some Christmas decorations that I wanted to improve before putting them all away for the year. I removed all of the twine hangers and replaced them with colored ribbon that I hope will add more color to the tree. I probably spent 5 hours in my “rock room” creating, painting, fixing, and more.

The coffee table (in the picture) had water spots on it from recent rain that blew up under the patio.  Chip said that he heard that using mayonnaise on it would restore it.  This is the beautiful table after 4 coats of mayonnaise.  It is beautiful again! That was part of the really good day!

During the good day I emptied one of my shelving units and plan to sell it as a vegetable/plant seed growing unit since it has plant growing lights under each shelf. It has a timer that worked perfectly with the lights earlier this year for growing Roy’s little seeds into healthy plants ready for planting outside. The unit will be for sale soon. I’m trying to figure out how much we had invested in it so I’ll know how much to ask.

No, the laptop is not included!

Other really good things happened but I can’t remember them at the moment.

Yesterday, however, hasn’t gone well. Not knowing where my oatmeal is now is only the first part.

I needed to get more of my diabetic testing supplies.  For those who don’t have diabetes, testing supplies include lancets (that poke your finger to get blood), test strips (that pull the blood up to be measured by the testing machine. I don’t remember where I got them last but I knew it wasn’t my pharmacy since they told me that when I needed the lancets last time.

I went to the Peoples Health Medicare website and couldn’t figure out who to contact about having a company send them to me every three months like I use to have it before we started living on the road in Dora. I couldn’t find anything specific for that but I called a couple of companies I found on their site. Neither company had someone answering the phone that spoke clear English and didn’t know what I was talking about. I did catch the words “your local pharmacy” once so after getting nowhere I called Thrift Town to get the supplies.

Most people don’t understand that when talking to someone with dementia you need to include verbally things that you would normally think someone would just understand. My conversation with the young man at the pharmacy went array when he kept saying that I could buy the supplies over the counter. Somewhere in the conversation, he must have thought that I understood that a prescription is needed for these supplies. He must have also thought that I understood that since I didn’t have a prescription on file, I’d need to have my doctor send a prescription. Most people may have understood but I couldn’t see why he thought I should get it over the counter.

Having a conversation where I can say things like “animal” instead of specific things like “dog or cat” but having to understand someone or use correct descriptive words just flattens my brain every time.

I’m not sure all of that makes any sense to anyone but all that left me crying from not understanding and from not being understood.   I contacted my doctor via My Chart (which I can handle well most of the time) and asked them to send a prescription. I am sure I won’t hear from them until next year (ha ha!). Such a simple thing as ordering the supplies should never have been that hard.

More not good things happened and lucky me can’t remember them right now. My brain has good and bad days, sometimes just a bad hour or two. I texted Chip yesterday morning to pray for this bad brain day I was having. He always does pray when I ask.

None of this may sound like a big deal but it is to me when I’m trying to accomplish one simple task and it doesn’t go well or it takes forever to figure out.

Buddy was getting out all morning mostly because I’ve been going in and out packing up Christmas decorations. I don’t mean to but I leave the door open and out he goes every time. He’s also started chasing cars down the street. He’s getting more comfortable with the surrounding area here and goes to visit the cows across the street or dips his ears in the pond water.

Since all that Christmas involved is over with I hope to spend some time working on stopping those habits.  He’s so good about coming to me when I clap my hands so that’s good. I cannot clap my hands normally since I have that Dupuytren’s contracture making my hand cup-shaped.  I have learned that I can clap by slapping the top of my hand with the other hand.  Buddy is such a good sweet dog and understands and obeys many commands.

I am losing all of my thoughts that I wanted to share. It all just goes away and my thinking stops.

But I did have a revelation about my bowl of oatmeal while in bed for the evening reading Still Alice by Lisa Genova.  Alice has Early Onset Alzheimers and  is searching for something she lost. I think she doesn’t even know what she’s searching for. This search of hers was way more drastic than mine was but in the second to last paragraph, end of the third line, you will see what made my brain click and think that just maybe that’s where my bowl of oatmeal could be.

I jumped out of my bed and shouted “I think I know where my oatmeal bowl is.” Buddy was running behind me and Chip was coming out of his room and was so shocked by me saying what I was kind of shouting, and being in the hall in the middle of the night.  I opened the linen closet door and there was my bowl of oatmeal sitting up high on a shelf. I think I put it there when I was searching for my diabetic testing supplies earlier and never thought of that place when I was searching through the house.

I fixed a bowl of oatmeal with blueberries from my own bushes for my breakfast this morning, the first day of the year 2021 and at it all sitting in one place. It was delicious. Buddy was standing guard making sure I ate it all this time!

I’m hoping the rest of 2021 goes as well as this morning is going.

I have been writing a blog post for years on the last day of the year recapping our life during each month of the past year. I didn’t do one this year as I don’t want to have to write about September 2020 when Roy passed away.  Our life was happy and good every month of the last years since I started blogging in 2012 and I enjoyed writing the recap that I titled “Reflections of God’s Blessings.” It was not a blessing to have Roy die even though I know that it is part of God’s plan for both Roy and my lives. Because of this deep grief, I just can’t write more about 2020.

I am looking forward now to what the future holds in my life. My God is in control, and I am so thankful for that.

Buddy, Chip, and I wish you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

01.08.21 My hand is jerking and I am falling down

From time to time over the last few years I’ve experienced jerking of my hand to where it will knock my kindle from my hand or mostly just other times doing random things. Yesterday it kicked it up a notch.

I need to say right here that I am trying hard to make this accurate, mostly for me or my doctor to read at a later time. Because of this it is taking me so much longer to write this. So that I get to publish this quicker before I forget what happened next I am not going to correct things I normally would try to do. This next sentence means nothing to you but I know what it is.The hammer bang or zip sound in my head when I am going to sleep

When I tried to come back to my bed from the bathroom it kept jerking but  this time it jerked my body. The jerking caused me to fall to the ground several times while I was trying to get back to the bed and climbing into the bed. After those several times I gave up and laid on the floor for about an hour since it wasn’t stopping and my cell phone was out of reach.

When I decided to try getting up again I MADE IT!  I was going to rest for a few minutes thinking again that this would go away. I fell asleep instead for a few hours and woke up again at around 3 pm and tried again to get up and stand without jerking and falling. It didn’t work. Finally I called 911.

They were great and stayed on the phone until help came, first in the form of the local first responder team and then by the Acadian Ambulance EMTs. I found out later that they thought I was sluring my words indicating a stroke, when actually my mouth was just really dry. Because of this error on their part I was given a helicopter ride to North Oaks since driving in the ambulance would have taken an hour. And I got to go straight to the head of the line when entering the Emergency Room.

It was crazy great how much fun it was to ride in the helicopter!  Getting out of the helicopter and into the hospital was like watching an episode of Gray’s Anatomy! I can say all this now but at that time I understood the seriousness of what was going on.

At some point during the time that the last two paragraphs occured that what I learned that am calling “jerking of my hand and body” the medical people all called it twitching. I didn’t realize there were possibly two different words for what I call “jerking” and they call “twitching. Thjere is ore to this part.

I was given a room immediately, was hooked up to the bag of fluids they give at the hospital, and tests began immediately.  The xray folks came in to take chest xrays, blood was drawn, a urine sample was taken.

Chip had been driving all around the countryside heading to our home in Amite from his work in Hammond.  Then back into town to meet the helicopter at North Oaks in Hammond.

FIX THIS PARAGRAPH WHEN  MY BRAIN IS DOING BETTER. Later I remembered that when getting off of the toilet I fell on the ground, twisted my ankle and hit my right knee hard on the concrete floor, then crawled to the bed. I remembered my left knee hurtingThat was when I tried to get back up on the bed and failed.  I say that later I remembered  knee episode just mentioned it was after the original xrays were taken because that’s when it started hurting bad.  And much later, when I got home, I remembered I twisted my ankle becaue that’s when it began hurting.

So another xray had to be taken of my knee which I felt bad about having the xray folks come back to the Emergency Room.

I felt bad about taking up hospital resources when I learned about how backed up the Emergency Room was and how the hospital was bursting at it seams with patients (the ER and hospital staff never said anything about that) and I was let go to go home after being air lifted there.

I had a couple more tests and the ER Doctor Hill came in to tell me that all the tests looked fine except for showing I am dehydrated and that I have a small kidney problem. I told the Dr. that I was taking Metform for my blood sugar and when my blood tests showed a kidney problem he took me off of it. This test finding is probably what’s left over from when I was on Metformin.  They said on the check out form I was expressing weakness????????

I am writing this Friday night late after spending Thursday morning on the floor, Thursday night at the Emergency Room, and on Friday morning …  I think those days of the week are wrong figure it out.

I’m so tired folks that I’m ending this at part one because I don’t have enough brain power to keep going with this second day, yes there was a second day of all this.  This ended on Friday night and today is Saturday.  Just an update here to the current end of this journey since I want you to know good things, not just this awful stuff. . I spent this morning again for the third day on the floor but this morning was much worse. I realize now it may be seizures but the doctor will know. Around late morning all the jerking stops and I am fine for the rest of today.  I don’t look forward to tomorrow morning but Chip will be home. If you pray for me, I want to go to Sunday School online at 9:30 tomorrow morning so please pray I can do that. I have a primary care doctors appointment on Monday.

Be sure to watch and cheer for the Saints at their playoff game on Sunday at 3 or maybe it’s 3:30!

I hope ya’ll have a Blessed weekend, Rosalyn

 

 

 

12.26.20 A different kind of Christmas without Roy

Things have been kinda the same yet very different this year without my honey Roy at our family’s Christmas gathering. My Christmas blog post has always been my favorite to write each year. This year many tears flowed while writing this post, and lots of missing Roy has made this a very different kind of Christmas.

Chip, Buddy, and I really looked forward to Christmas Eve when our family gathered to eat, open presents and fellowship together, then attend Christmas Eve Candlelight Worship Service together at our church in Hammond.

I’ve been telling Buddy how he would have really loved his Paw Paw Roy. I probably wouldn’t have gotten Buddy if Roy was still around.

Our Christmas Eve was a very special afternoon and evening. I kept the menu simple: BBQ Beef on a bun, fruit salad, chips and dips, and 3 desserts.

My precious grandchildren, sons, and daughter in law could not have brought me more joy and love. My Grannie heart was so happy.

One of my Christmas gifts to my sons was a photo memory book from Shutterfly with photos of them, their children and Roy throughout the years. One of the photo memory books almost didn’t make it here before Christmas but I found out what an amazing company Shutterfly is and it made it just in time!  They both loved the gift and spent some time looking at all of the photos I picked out. Creating those books brought on a couple of days full of tears and sadness which I couldn’t share with anyone because I didn’t want to ruin the surprise. 

Here’s the front of both books.

Their family also both received an amazing hand made cutting board with Chauvin embossed on it. They were made by my pastor and I absolutely love both of them.

The extremely cold weather kept us inside. Chip had a tall outside heater that we now have at my house on the patio. The only time we all went outside we were huddled around the heater. While outside our family got to see all of the ornaments on my big tree that is on the new patio.

 Some of the ornaments my grandchildren previously made for me, all the ones I made this year involving some of Roy’s small things (Roy’s small calculator he used when he installed carpet back in the day, and ones my friend Cindy gave me are now on the tree. I shared a few of those ornaments in a previous post.  I added some artsy, crafty bling to some of the plain ornaments, decorated some seashells, some computer CDs, and hard drive disks. I plan to make more of these CD disks and hard drive disk decorations this coming year for next year’s Christmas tree.

Two of the grandchildren gave me the ornaments they made for me. My present from Chad’s family was two beautiful glass ornaments. One in the shape of a heart with a picture of their four children on one side and the other with all of our names, Roy, Rosalyn, Chad, Chip, Amy, etc. What an absolutely perfect gift for my grieving heart. 

The backside of those ornaments.

Chip’s gift to me was having Buddy’s teeth cleaned. We both are enjoying the clean breath Buddy now has!

People have been saying this first Christmas would be difficult without Roy. I really didn’t grasp what that would mean or feel like. I know now that the sadness and loneliness I have felt is what that’s all about.  Being without half of our original family, Roy and me, made my heart hurt. However, the joy of having all of our family around me helped on Christmas Eve. This past week a couple of days were just total loneliness that I haven’t really experienced before. I miss my partner in crime so much. This is my new sidekick who I appreciate so much. Chip and I before everyone arrived on Christmas Eve.

The very best part of our family gathering on Christmas Eve was all of us going to church together. My favorite part of that was signing with my middle granddaughter singing Christmas hymns. I sat down and she stood up so we were on the same level.  She is normally very soft-spoken and a bit shy but when she sang praises to our Lord her little voice was clear and beautiful.  After the service, a couple sitting two rows ahead of us commented on her beautiful singing.  Chip took a photo of our family all sitting together last evening at church. I loved that he did this. Here is the photo.  Look at my sweet littlest grandchild holding onto the arm of her older cousin Madisyn. So sweet.

Well, Buddy and I have gone around all day, Christmas Day, with a jingle bell necklace around our necks. And I got to eat more of the desserts we didn’t finish off yesterday. 

All of our Christmas’ going forward will be different since Roy will not be with us in person. I know he is in the children and grandchildren that came from our love for each other. He will always be with us in that way.

I hope that your Christmas was a blessing to you, just as the gift of Baby Jesus was a blessing to those of us who are his children.

Merry Christmas to all of you, Rosalyn

 

 

12.21.20 The miracle we celebrate at Christmas is worthy of celebration every single day we have breath.

The miracle we celebrate at Christmas is worthy of celebration every single day we have breath.

Christmas is here again! It seems to arrive more quickly each passing year.

Do you have a calendar full of plans? A living room full of gifts? A kitchen full of sweets? You are blessed if you do.

But…

What are your plans for the 26th of December? What will you be left with after Christmas has come and gone? Some new toys, a little less money, and a little more body fat?

After the get-togethers and the feasting and the drinking and the laughing and the surprises and the arguments and the hugs — what then?

Will you simply drag your tree out to the curb and pack up all of your Christmas decorations to stash in the basement until the day after Thanksgiving next year?

Enjoy your new gifts for a week or so?

My prayer for you, whoever you are, wherever you are, is that you’d open yourself, more than ever before, to the things of eternity this Christmas. That you’d really consider — perhaps for the first time ever? — what it means that “Christ is born in Bethlehem.”

I wish you’d stop and think about the lyrics you’ve no doubt heard this season:

Hark! the herald angels sing,
“Glory to the new-born King!
Peace on earth, and mercy mild,
God and sinners reconciled.”

“God and sinner reconciled”! Nothing could be more wondrous than that.

Sin-stained humans, hopelessly lost, corrupted through and through, reconciled to the God who created the universe, who is the embodiment and source of holiness, perfection, and love — and into whose presence no evil can enter.

Peace between us and the one who created every atom in the universe, and against whom we’ve continuously rebelled. Unthinkable! But available.

And it is only made possible by that “new-born King.”

Jesus.

God the Son.

The one through whom and for whom all things were created (Colossians 1:16).

The Savior who left the perfect harmony of the eternal Trinity to come here and rescue us. To be born lowly and humble in a manger. To live the perfect life you and I could never live. To die a terrible death, in our place, in order to pay the penalty our sins demand. To absorb God’s wrath meant for us, on our behalf. To make possible the dismissal of our case, though we’ve been found guilty. To give us his perfect righteousness so we may not only enter the presence of God, but dwell there — forever.

Jesus did this.

The miracle we celebrate at Christmas is worthy of celebration every single day we have breath.

You do not have to pack Christmas away this year once the day has passed. The point of Christmas is to celebrate the coming of the Savior humanity had ached and groaned for since the dawn of time.

He has come. You can have him.

This Christmas, grab on to Jesus, and hold on to him. Read the Bible; see what He’s done for you. Open yourself to him, and see if he doesn’t grab hold of you and never let go.

There’s never been a better Christmas to give yourself to Jesus.

Author Unknown