I hope this shows up as a memory in future years to remind me what a wild year this year has been so far! 😬😳🤪
📝Dear Diary 2020 Edition,
🗓️In January, Australia caught on fire🔥. I don’t even know if that fire was put out, because we straight up almost went to war 🔫 with Iran. We might actually still be almost at war with them🤷. I don’t know, because Jen Aniston and Brad Pitt spoke to one another at an awards show🏆 and everyone flipped😲 out, but then there was a thing happening in China 🤷, then Prince Harry 🤴and Megan 👸 peaced out ☮️ of the Royal family🏰, and there was the whole impeachment trial ⚖️, and then corona virus 😷showed up in the US🇺🇸 “officially,” but then Kobe died 💀and UK peaced ☮️ out of the European Union.
🗓️In February, Iowa looked foolish with the caucus results and the president was acquitted ✔️ and the Speaker of the House took ten years to rip up a speech🗑️, but then WHO decided to give this virus a name, COVID-19, 😷 which confused some really important people who are actually in charge of things…like our lives, into thinking 🤦there were 18 other versions before it, but then Harvey Weinstein was found guilty❌, and Americans started asking if Corona beer 🍺was safe to drink, and everyone on Facebook became a doctor 👩🏾⚕️who just knew the flu killed waaaaaaaay more people than COVID 1 through 18 EVER did….. 🤦🤦🤦
🗓️In March, you know what hit the fan. Warren👴🏼 dropped out of the presidential race and Sanders was like Bernie👴🏻 or bust, but then Italy 🇭🇺 shut itself down, and then COVID Not 1 through 18 officially become what everyone already realized, a pandemic 😷🌐🗺️🌎😷 and then a nationwide state of emergency 🛑🚨🛑was declared in US, but it didn’t really change anything🤷, so everyone was confused or thought it was still just a flu, but then COVID Not 18 was like ya’ll not taking me seriously😤? I’m gonna infect the one celebrity everyone loves and totally infected Tom Hanks😭, but then the DOW took a plunge, and most of us still don’t understand why the stock market is so important or even a thing 🤷. Then we were all introduced to 🐅 Tiger King 👑. From what I understand, Carol TOTALLY killed 💀her husband, and Netflix was like you’re welcome 😉 We all realized there was 🚫 no way we were washing our hands 🙌🙌🙌enough in the first place because all of our hands are now dry and gross.🤮
🗓️In April, Bernie 👴🏻finally busted himself out of the presidential race, but then NYC 🌆became the set of The Walking Dead and we learned that no one 🚫 has face masks😷, ventilators🌬️, or toilet paper🚽, or quality meat 🥩🍗🍖🥓 at a reasonable price💸! But then Kim Jong-Un 💀died, but then he came back to life… or did he🤷? Who knows, because then the Pentagon released videos of UFOs 🛸🌌and nobody cared😐, and we were like man, it’s only April🤯….
🗓️In May, the biblical ⛪ end times kicked off historical locust 🦗swarms and then we learned of murder hornets 🐝and realized that 2020 was the start of the Hunger Games but people forgot to let us know, but then people legit protested 🙅📢🙅📢🙅 lockdown measures with 🔫AR-15s, and then sports events were cancelled everywhere 🚫🎳🎾⚾🏀🏈⚽. But then people all over America finally reached a breaking 🤬point with race issues and violence. 🤛🏿🤛🤛🏾🤛🏻🤛🏽🤛🏼There were protests in every city, but then people forgot about the pandemic called COVID Not One Through 18. 📺Media struggled with how to focus on two important things at once, but then people 👥in general struggle to focus on more than one important thing, and a dead 💀🐳 whale was found in the middle of the Amazon 💧🌳rain forest after monkeys 🙊 stole 😷COVID 1 through 19 from a 👨🏽🔬 lab and ran off with them. It was either in May or April (no one is keeping track of time now) that a giant asteroid ☄️narrowly missed Earth.🌎
🗓️In June, science and common sense just got thrown straight out the window and somehow wearing masks 😷became a political 🏛️💲🗳️thing, but then a whole lot of people realized the south actually lost the Civil War, and there are large numbers of people who feel that statues👤 they don’t even know the name of are needed for … ‘history’ reasons🤷🤷🤷🤷….. but then everyone sort of remembered there was a pandemic😷🌐🗺️🌎😷, but then decided that not wearing a mask was somehow a God given right (🚫😷=😇…still haven’t found that part in the bible⛪or even in the constitution📜). Then scientists 👩🏽🔬announced they found a mysterious undiscovered mass👾 at the center of the earth, and everyone was like DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH IT 👉🙅👈, but then everyone took a pause 🌬️ to realize that people actually believed…… Gone With The Wind was like non-fiction (They think it’s a documentary y’all!!! 🤯🤯🤯) but then it was also announced that there is a strange radio signal 🎧🛸🤷 coming from somewhere 🌌 in the universe that repeats itself every so many days, and everyone was like DON’T YOU DARE ATTEMPT TO COMMUNICATE WITH IT 🙅📲, but then America reopened from the shut down that actually wasn’t even a shut down, and so far, things have gone 🌟spectacularly……not that great 😣but everyone is on Facebook arguing that masks kill because no one knows how breathing 💨works. Then Florida 🏖️was like hold my beer 🍺 and let me show you how we’re number one 🥇 in all things, including new Not Corona Beer Corona Virus😷. Trump decides now is a good time to ask the Supreme Court ⚖️ to shut down Obama Care because what better time to do so than in the middle of a pandemic😷🌎😷, but then we learned there was a massive dust cloud 🌫️🌫️🌫️🌫️coming straight at us from the Sahara Desert🏜️, which is totally normal 🧐, but this is 2020, so the ghost 👻☠️ mummy thing is most likely in that dust cloud. Then I learned of meth-gators💊🐊, and I’m like that is so not on my freaking 2020 Bingo card, but then we learned that the Congo’s worst ever Ebola outbreak 🤒🤧🤕 is over, and we were all like, 🤷there was an Ebola outbreak that was the worst ever🤷?
🗓️⬇️TODAY is July 2, 2020…. Aliens? Zeus? Asteroids? Artificial Intelligence becomes self aware? Anybody else got guesses??? 🤷🤷🤷
Thanks to whoever started this for the opportunity to copy and paste.
🤷🤷🤷Also, why didn’t I know about the whale 🐳 in the Amazon? I’m going to Google that right now!!!!”
I surely hope that the rest of 2020 goes a lot smoother and less wild and crazy!
If you know that God is in control, like I do, you will be less stressed no matter what comes your way! Give your worries over to God. He’s a big God and wants to handle it all. If you don’t have Him in your life, I’d love to share with you the peace and joy I have with Him!
Have a Blessed week!