I never thought my heart could hurt like this. My husband Roy died last Tuesday of a massive heart attack. I know millions before me have gone through this pain of losing a spouse. I’m not the only wife ever experiencing this but some of the time I feel like I am.
Our last day together started out really nice. Roy cut our grass and took care of our ducks. I pulled a bunch of weeds and did some rock painting. I cooked us a nice dinner of fresh green beans from our garden and jambalaya with shrimp and sausage. He gave me a thumbs up on how it tasted. That always makes a wife’s heart happy when feeding her man and him enjoying it.
About an hour or so later he was helping me work on our Sunday School’s prayer list, getting it ready to text to our class members. When we were done I went to the bathroom for just a minute or two. When I came back Roy was dead. A new neighbor of ours, Misty, that we didn’t even know came to her front door when I ran there to find someone to help me. She ran back ahead of me, got Roy on the floor and started chest compressions. The fire department and medics came to our house right away.
Both our sons, Chad and Chip, dropped everything and came to be with me right away. Our pastor and my Sunday School class teacher were there giving us so much comfort. The events after we left for the hospital went on for hours including attempts to get him airlifted to North Oaks. So many medical people worked on him but in the end, Roy couldn’t be revived.
We were able to be with him after all of the attempts to revive him were stopped. Those were cherished moments we would never have again. It is never a normal thing to be with your spouse’s lifeless body. I will always be thankful for those moments.
Since I have dementia we both thought I’d be the one to die first. God had a different plan. God’s plan right now is for Roy to be with him and for me to learn how to live without Roy. Can’t say I’m wild about this plan but it is God’s plan and I know he’ll walk beside me along this journey.
I didn’t think I would be able to write here for a long time after Roy’s death. My heart and mind are bursting with a need to share this time in my life so that maybe it will help someone else that is going through this or will be going through this. . I hope you will understand that I need this time to write as needed.
God Bless You All