12.12.20 Buddy, Grief, Brain, Christmas Tree, and more

My little buddy, who we kinda think is taking to the new name Buddy, is such a good dog. He’s very curious about this new home and follows me everywhere. I’m allowing him to roam through the property more each day and I think he likes it here!

He’s really wonderful and such a comfort to me. He’s not Roy but then no one will be. I let him up on my bed once and he loved it! When he runs he prances which I love!

He is “ball crazed” like our dog Nacho was. We play a good bit of toss and catch and sometimes toss and run after the ball.  He has an appointment for December 21 to have his teeth cleaned. I plan to make an appointment for next week to have him groomed. That will get him ready to meet my grandchildren on Christmas Eve!

I’m going to leave his hair grow like it wants but he does need his right ear hair cut to match the length of the other ear hair.

My grief over losing my best friend Roy, rears its ugly head when I least expect it. Yesterday I drove to town to pick up some things at Walmart. On my way there a funeral processing came towards me in the opposite lane. We all pulled over to show respect.  Roy had no procession like that nor will I since our church’s cemetary is next to the church but when they finished passing by I was overwhelmed with the realization of what the procession represented.

I wrote this on Facebook last week.

I have had a really rough time doing life recently. My grief has turned to anger and hurt and has stressed out my brain to where I haven’t dealt with that well. My efforts to take care of more things myself and go places by myself hasn’t gone well to put it mildly. My brain stays constantly confused, scared and overwhelmed and in need of Roy to make it all okay. But of course he can’t.

My amazing daughter in law, Chad’s wife, knows this and sent me several videos of her children talking to me showing me things in their lives. I share a lot here but those videos are my private stash of love, creativity, silliness and more that I will be able to take out whenever my heart needs it. I am so thankful for my family and friends who reach out and show love.

Most people don’t share what their grief feels like, so people don’t understand that I am very normal with this and they worry about me. I love the prayers. just don’t want people to worry. My purpose for sharing is to help others, not to gain sympathy. I will tell you that this grief from losing my husband is way different than the grief I had when my mama and dad died.  That’s how it is for me, someone else may be different.

My brain has been doing well since I wrote about it last.  I plan to see the neuropsychologist in Metairie in early 2021 to update my neuropsych testing. It’s been 5 years since I was last tested. Then I plan to see a new neurologist in Hammond for whatever medical tests he wants to run to see how I am doing.

Someone got a hold of my debit card number but my amazing bank, Hancock Whitney, caught it before I did. In the past if one of Roy or my debit cards was compromised we had the other one. But now I don’t have that so I’ve traveled back in time and am writing checks again! I’ve found most businesses don’t even want you to write out the check, they process it without that. Times have changed! I use to manage the bank, now I don’t even understand all the changes over time!

My Dirt Cheap Christmas tree is getting more decorated each day.

My friend Cindy Vernon gave me a whole slew of ornaments and even a dozen clear ones to make my own! I’ve also been making ornaments out of some of Roy’s stuff. One spark plug, two decorated computer parts, Roy’s little calculator, several decorated CDs and a few more things. Between the few ornaments I had from my previous life in a house, the ones Cindy gave me, the ones my grandchildren made for me last year and the ones I am making this year the tree looks nice.  It’s on the back patio and can be seen from inside the house. I like that!

One of the clear ornaments Cindy Vernon gaveme. I poured different colored paints inside and swirled it!

Roy made windchimes with these and they are now glitter glue colored for Christmas
A sparkplug I found in Roy’s “stuff”
Computer CD disks decorated with napkins and bling!

I have lots of CDs and DVDs that you can decorate.  If you want any and are local let me know!

That’s the latest in my life. This morning in our Sunday School class I urged our class members to cherish the time they have with their spouse;. Don’t let the little irritations cloud the joy of having a really good marriage.  I urge you to do that also. None of us are perfect spouses, well I was (and I know Roy would agree!) but no one else is! Show your appreciation for the big AND little things they do. Marriage is forever, that’s how God intended it to be.

See ya’ll next time! Rosalyn

12.01.20 I am so thankful there is always a Sunday after every Saturday!

I am so thankful there is always a Sunday after every Saturday! Especially after the difficult Saturdays I’ve had lately.

This Sunday was exactly what my grieving heart needed. I so look forward to this month of December when we celebrate the birth of Jesus.

Beginning with our Sunday Bible Study at church. We were all online except our Bible Study leader Spot and his wife Leanna. That hour we all studied God’s word together

The title of our lesson was Committed to His Mission. Scripture was from Romans 10: 9-17. The point of the lesson was God desires for all people to hear and respond to the gospel.  We talked a lot about our responsibility to share the true Word of God with others. I hope that if you’ve read enough of my posts you’ll know that I try to do that as often as I can. When I say the true Word of God I mean that many folks believe that since they “believe” in God and/or are good people that they are saved.  Good works do not save you. Believing that God exists is something that most people do but that does not save you. Even the devil believes in God, and that He exists.

Just “Believing that God exists,” does not save you. What saves us is accepting him as your Lord and Savior, putting our lives, all our faith in him, all our decisions, all our relationships in his hands. We don’t just put it there and think we are good to go. We desire to grow in our relationship with God every day. Bible reading, praying, going to church and Bible Study all come naturally and are greatly desired by a true Christian. None of those things “get you into Heaven. They are what you want to do as the result of you turning your life over to God.

Christians are not perfect, far from perfect, and we do not believe we are. We are all still sinners saved only by the grace of God and what his son Jesus Christ did by dying on the cross taking on all of our sins.

Sunday’s Bible Study was exceptionally uplifting and encouraged me so much to spread the Good News of Christ to others here and through my daily life.

I want you to know that my relationship with Jesus Christ is the most important relationship in my life. I know He is with me guiding me, protecting me, and even slapping me around when He feels I need it. I may not know the Books of the Bible any longer or where to find them in the Bible but I know God walks with me through all the storms in life and is smiling with me through the really wonderful times. I talk to him pray, all day every day for guidance, direction, healing for me and others. I pray for the unsaved and any need that is laid on my heart.

I want you all to have this same relationship with God and would like to pray for you if you’d like me to.

Our Worship Service message delivered by our pastor Rev. Avery Dixon centered around “The Excellence of Christ “

Hebrews 1:3a says The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word.”

Philippians 2: 5 to 8 says “Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.  And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

My brain is thinking very clearly this morning and I know that’s God’s doing so I could write this post and actually make sense. I hope it did make sense. If you want to know more about how my life is beautiful because I am a child of God, a Christian, it would be my honor to share with you.

The last beautiful spot in the day was putting up my new Christmas tree on the patio with Chip and watching the Saints win today! Bless You, Boys!

Much love to all of you, Rosalyn

11.29.20 The good, the bad and the ugly

I have permission from my friend Johnnie who is holding the gun in this picture to share it. She is one of the funniest, wonderful strong Christian ladies I know and this picture just spoke to me while writing this blog post and said “put me in it!” Thank you Johnnie for being the inspiration you are to me!

I know I am not any different than others who have lost their spouse but again I’m so thankful for this place where I can unload the good and bad times I have going through this grieving process.

Today is Saturday. I realized the last time I fell apart was also a Saturday. I’m not leaving home next Saturday.

On my way to the pharmacy this morning to buy lancets for my diabetes testing my thoughts went to how happy I am for Roy that all of his little health problems are gone now. I thought back through the problems and the tears just flowed. I am so happy he is in Heaven and pain, tremor and irritation-free now.  I told him that and wanted him to know that I love him still. I could not stop crying and I was driving. Thankfully I have kleenex in the truck and they were put to good use.

Just when I thought I was getting a grip on it I drove in front of the hospital where Roy’s body was being held for us to see him. My chest and heart hurt so much and as I pulled into the pharmacy parking lot I started thinking I can’t do this driving by where Roy was every time I need to go to the pharmacy.  But I will and am thankful that mostly I don’t have to go there but every three months. I believe I’ll be taking advantage of their delivery service for that.

My eyes were so red and I was thankful for having to wear a mask. I couldn’t find the lancets I needed so I asked the young lady to look up my records and see what I got last. I should have brought the lancet holder with me but I don’t think clearly enough to have thought to bring that. I was having trouble explaining what I needed to the lady and just started crying and couldn’t stop. I needed Roy to be with me because he would have thought to bring the lancet holder. Mr. Bud who owns the pharmacy was so kind to me and helped me figure it out.

When people say they can’t tell I have dementia I wish they could see when I can’t think well enough to convey a clear message to someone. It is absolutely horrible and so stressful. I know I am trying my best but fail all too often.

I went to Dirt Cheap which ya’ll are probably realizing that I love that place! I got several Christmas gift bags, bows, a whole bunched up bundle of Claire’s necklaces that I asked the manager if I could buy for $5 because they weren’t going to be able to sell any of them like they were. She said yes!

Then I found a prelit Christmas tree for only $26. A nice store employee brought it to the check out for me. Chip will help me put it up on the patio tomorrow. Thank goodness he’s here to help me.

When I got out to the car I tried to put the box in the truck but couldn’t get the passenger seatback to go forward or backward and just started to cry again.  Roy would have told me to get in the truck and he would handle it.  I just couldn’t get it no matter how hard I was trying.  A very kind young man came by with his wife and children and he asked if I needed help. I know that God sent that young man to me at that moment because when I was about to give up I prayed to God to help me and he sent someone to do that.

Since I don’t have many ornaments any longer I stopped at Dollar General and bought some. I ate a whole container of cotton candy which I know was bad for me but it sure put a smile on my face and I needed that.  My friend Cindy Vernon is going to teach me how she paints clear ornaments so I play to try my hand at that.

This past week was really nice. I knew it was nice but I’ve had to sit here a while to know what I did on Monday and Tuesday that was nice. I remembered finally!

Monday some young folks were coming to visit and help me but a couple was sick and they couldn’t come. I did some of the projects I was going to ask the boys to do and I tried to get things organized for Tuesday when Chad and Chip were coming to go through their dad’s tools and other “stuff”.

Tuesday with my two sons was the best day I can remember in a long time. This is a very precious photo of the two sons Roy and I raised, spanked, prayed for and loved!

Roy had some really good tools and “stuff” and they each got what they wanted. Chip had to go to work around noon so Chad and I had a nice time visiting which we never get to do. I love those boys and they are beautiful reminders to me of their dad.  On Chad’s way here he stopped and picked up the very generous gift that a young lady Roy loved like a daughter gave me. Here it is on the floor in my bedroom. It is the perfect completion of what I wanted our bedroom to look like.

Wednesday I did my Thanksgiving cooking making Sweet Potato Crunch and Spinach Casserole. That day would have been Roy and my 48th wedding anniversary and I did a lot of talking to him that day. I brought his picture that I just had put on canvas into the kitchen because he would have loved me cooking those two things.

Here’s a couple of pictures of us from the past that friends on Facebook shared with me on Wednesday.

Thursday we had a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner at my oldest son’s home. We all sat under their carport and socially distanced most of the time. I did get hugs from my grandchildren that just made my day. My son and his wife were wonderful hosts. Lots of delicious food and desserts and a wonderful time with these special family members.  My oldest granddaughter made each of us place cards and put mine right next to her!!!  Happy Grannie! The youngest picked each of the ladies a little bunch of flowers. Those children are all so special and precious to me.

These cuties love to climb as you can tell by the littlest standing in the boat.  When we arrived all four were sitting in Chad’s truck bed waiting to great us!

So my life is full of much happiness and some really sad moments. I’m glad that the happy times far out weigh the sad ones. I’ve been decorating the house for Christmas. Neither one of my sons nor Roy ever wanted to help me with that so it hasn’t been sad decorating. Chip will handle setting up the lights in the front and the new tree under the patio. Those are things Roy would have done. Roy put up with my love for decorating for each holiday throughout the year. He loved how it all looked so that made me happy.

I sold some of my Christmas plates and trivets and the cover for a dog kennel. Both were picked up on Friday. Two of the people are dear long time friends that I really enjoyed visiting with!

I have almost all of my Christmas shopping done. I’ve ordered two special things for my sons. I can’t say more or it will ruin the surprise.

I ordered a large canvas print of our family that Roy took of us last year with his drone. It will go on the blank wall in my bedroom next to a Psalm 23 wall art that hasn’t arrived yet.

Ya’ll have a very Blessed Weekend! Rosalyn

 

 

 

 

06.06.20 Brain update

I don’t think I have written about the wicked disease that is living in my brain in a while. I do really well for a few days and then the good times go away. Today I am able to write about it, so I will give an update.

Lately, I’ve been experiencing a lot of lightheadedness (seriously lightheaded, not just little oops dizzy) and passed out one day a couple of weeks ago. Last time I was experiencing being lightheaded like that it turned out to be the dementia medicine I was taking was causing it. Over the last several years I’ve been on Namenda, Aricept, and Exelon Patch. My doctor prescribed Galantamine a couple of years ago.  Galantamine has worked really well until lately when the lightheadedness started again.

Right now I am slowly getting off of Galantamine. I am in the second week of reducing slowly the amount of Galantamine I take.  Next week will be my first week without any Galantamine.  Already the dizziness has stopped!  Yay! Yay! It will take a while for all of the Galantamine to be out of my system. I will know then if the Galantamine was still helping my dementia or if it is time to stay off of it if it is not helping me.

That’s my brain update. I always appreciate your prayers. Mostly need them for me to be able to handle this and for Roy to be able to handle what is happening to his wife. God’s got this and we know He will be beside us all the way. Thanks guys for following our blog!

 

 

 

 

09.01.15 Rosalyn’s list of Brain Healthy Foods

11924906_703229289807044_2385748290395118961_nTuesday, September 1, 2015 – Several months ago the focus of my shrinking brain journey turned to eating brain healthy foods as a way of pumping up what’s left of my brain!!!  I really don’t know if it’s working but I have lost 20 pounds and know that just overall healthier eating is good for my whole body, not just my brain.

I also have Type 2 diabetes and have had difficulties controlling my blood sugar.  Since eating most of the items below and cutting out most of the junk I previously ate, my blood sugar levels have also come down some.  If you’re concerned mostly about sugars look each food item up and learn about that aspect.

I’ve been asked several times what is considered brain healthy food. Sometimes I forget some of it, so I thought if I put it all down here you’ll know it and I will have one place to go to remember it!!  This information comes from various sources.blueberries

Every source I’ve checked lists blueberries, spinach and nuts as the three highest foods to improve brain health.  I can’t say in what order all the rest are ranked in brain healthiness so pick what you love and eat those!!

The list below tells the name of the food, the recommended daily amount if it is known and what I actually eat.  I consider this a list of foods I previously would have felt were splurge foods.  Since I’ve cut “almost all” unhealthy foods out of my diet I have the money to eat the “splurge” foods and really enjoy them!

I offer this list as someone who is absolutely not an expert in great brain food.  If you’re 60 or older and have noticed some cognitive decline, give it a try.  If you’re young and want to eat foods now that may help you later in life, give it a try!

Eliminating as much sugar and bad fats are key!  If something below contains that, eat in moderation if you must eat them.  Also, WATER, WATER AND MORE WATER are a must. As much as you can, as often as you can and then drink some more!

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Blueberries – 1 cup a day in any form, fresh frozen or freeze dried – These are the very best for your brain and I avocadoeat them everyday.  Always keep frozen ones available for when the fresh run out.  Adding frozen blueberries to hot oatmeal is delicious!!!  Haven’t tried freeze dried but I’ve had blueberries covered in yogurt which are delicious.

Strawberries, blackberries, blackcurrants, huckleberries – Not as high as blueberries but delicious and worth adding to the diet.  I eat all of them whenever I can get them.  I try to keep on hand frozen strawberries, pineapples, blackberries and mangoes.

yogurtYogurt – a cup a day – I buy low fat Dannon vanilla yogurt because of the low fat, it tastes good and it’s fairly cheap.  I buy two large containers each week and that gives me a cup a day to add to smoothies or fruit bowls.  I’ve learned that smoothies are best for if you don’t have time to sit down and eat a bowl of fruit but the bowl of fruit is the better of both choices for you.  I daily make either a smoothie or a bowl of three types of fresh fruit, granola, flax seed and chia seeds mixed together.  You don’t taste the flax or chia seeds but they are very good for you.  You can buy small pouches of them for under $1 each that last for a couple of weeks.

Salmon, albacore tuna, sardines – 4-ounce serving, two to three times a week. – I love tuna in just about kaleanything!  The others won’t make my grocery list!!

Mangos, bananas, kiwi, grapefruit, pineapples, cantaloupe, watermelon – at least two servings a day.  I eat all of these as much as I want!

Green and black olives – a few a day – I eat a can of black olives whenever I want to about once or twice a week.

Nuts and Seeds – an ounce a day of walnuts, hazelnuts, Brazil nuts, filberts, almonds, cashews, peanuts, sunflower seeds, sesame seeds, flax seed, and unhydrogenated nut butters such as peanut butter, almond butter, and tahini. – Walnuts and Pecans are the best, I eat at least 10 a day of nuts2walnuts, pecans, almonds, cashews, shelled or in the shell peanuts, and sunflower seeds.  I sprinkle flax seed and chia seeds on anything I’m eating in a bowl.  See my note about this in Yogurt. Also sunflower seeds (peeled) make a delicious addition to any salad!!

Avocado – 1/2 of an avocado to one daily. – I make avocado and sliced cucumber sandwiches , put them in salads and eat them with some italian dressing, and guacamole!!!  If you like mayonnaise (which I don’t) use the avocado instead of mayonnaise on any sandwich!!

Red wine – one glass a day – I don’t drink this every day but sometimes.

Celery, carrots and peppers – I buy a bag of fresh carrots and whole celery every week and much whenever I feel the need for something crunchy.

Broccoli and Cauliflower – 1 cup a day –  Raw is best – I love it that way and cooked (I only buy fresh, not frozen)

Whole grains –  Whole grains, such as oatmeal, whole-grain breads, and brown rice – I choose oatmeal and whole grain breads.ark Leafy Vegetables –

Kale (a super food), collard or turnip greens, spinach – a handful a day – I stick with kale and spinach.  Kale or Spinach in a fruit smoothie is my melonspreferred method of eating it.  You do not taste the kale in the smoothie but you’re getting the benefits!!  Kale can also be baked in the oven – toss in some olive oil, salt and pepper it, layer on a pan and back until crisp.  Spinach I love in salads also.

Beans – 1/2 cup of any beans will do.  I prefer red beans but then there is the sausage and fat that goes into the flavor so I skip beans mostly1

Pomegranate juice – Because pomegranate juice has added sugar (to counteract its natural tartness), you don’t want to go overboard,so approximately 2 ounces a day, diluted with spring water.   – This hasn’t been on my list but I’m going to give it a try!

Freshly brewed tea – Two to three cups a day of freshly brewed tea — hot or iced – Must be fresh brewed, not powdered.  Don’t add all the sugar and cream, a day of lemon juice adds an interesting twist!

Dark Chocolate – One-half ounce to 1 ounce a day

crabs shrimp crawfish crabsCrabs (also shrimp, lobster, crawfish to a lesser degree) – Eat as much as you want, I do!!! Crabmeat salad and boiled crabs, shrimp and crawfish. Fairly certain that only boiled seafood should be eaten for any type of diet!!

Tomatoes – one a day, don’t really know.  I buy enough to eat one a day whole if I want to.  Feels more like a treat that way!!

Curry contains Turmeric.  Haven’t tried it yet.

Eggs specifically, the yolks – one a day or more at once.  We eat egg salad sandwiches, scrambled eggs, sliced eggs on sandwiches, omelets, etc. but  not very often.

Pumpkin seeds – a handful a day – gonna add that one soon!

Add high, but safe, levels of B6, B12 and folic acid through vitamins.

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I’m sure this isn’t every food that is brain healthy.  If anyone has additional items that should be on this list, let me know and I’ll add them.

I’ve enjoyed getting to splurge on these treats knowing they are helping, not hurting, me!

We are enjoying some quiet down time right now in La Pine, Oregon before we move on this Wednesday.  The night time temperatures are in the 30s and will dip to the high 20s mid week.  If anyone has must sees for California round San Francisco, Fresno and Bakersville let us know!!

Ya’ll come back now, ya’ hear!!

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